I'm eager to not have just one posting for the year. We're almost 5 months into the year and the focus is all on our home. More accurately, what shall we do about our home? Do we add on? Do we move? I am notoriously famous for my loathing of moving. I hate it. Abhor it. Detest it. But, at some point, 927 square feet for 4 souls is really not enough. Despite my best efforts to deny this and rationalize that 4 people probably lived in homes like this in 1941. At this point, we've consulted an architect who's given us $150/square foot. Not in our budget to pop the top. It's starting to get frustrating, we found a house we LOVE. Do you hear me? LOVE. Oh God, I LOVE this house. The blue in the living room. Painted white kitchen. Love it. The backyard, oh the backyard. I've dreamed about this backyard. I wake up dreaming about it. The location. Oh God, I want this house. Of course, we have to sell ours first. Which seemed easy enough with potential buyers in the neighborhood. He's a contracter and wanting a new project. I just don't feel it working out anymore. I have been praying quite a bit and feel like we're just supposed to put the house on the market. I feel like these buyers aren't going to work out. I've been trying to have a lot of faith lately. Always learning to not try to control everything. The green-eyed monster has been making several appearances. I'm always wondering how or why everyone else seems to make more money, be able to afford more house...blah blah blah blah blah. In the end, I feel lucky despite my inner lizard fearing everything and focusing on lack. Christopher is amazing and funny and I love him. It's so fun hanging out with him and developing a little relationship with him. Nick and Anthony have been gone for the week and, well, it's actually been really nice. A nice, quiet, relaxing respite. Like a vacation, but at home.
I'm really trying hard to pray. Pray for guidance, pray for help, pray things work out. Pray for tolerance during the uncertainty. Prayer for finances. Prayer for health. Prayers for me to have faith that it's all being laid out and will work out. I really really really really really want that house!!!